Crash Bandicoot 3: Warped (PS1) Retro Review

The last of the series and an end to an amazing era as Naughty Dog take off their classy fedoras and place them on the hat.. hook thing and leave. This game was slightly better than the 2nd and was also a little shorter. I managed to complete it as a kid and the results were.. disappointed. It was great and it was one of my favourite PS1 titles up to this day.

Oh Naughty Dog. We miss you so much. Well, this game was released in 1998. A year after the original release of the second game. Do they time themselves or something? I don't think even Call of Duty produces games that quickly (Promise me.. we'll come to that game at a later time..). Like.. I swear they just start making a new game the moment they release the previous one, but this game wasn't bad. It was great and I loved it. I guess game sequels don't need a stupidly long time to create without it being a horrid mess of vomit on the floor. I should stop rambling now.

The game (as you would expect from the Godly Dogs) was set straight after the second one. No bullshitting you with filter. Just "new game" then boom!. The ruined space station of Cortex crash lands into some ruins and frees Uka Uka, Aku Aku's twin and evil brother. Uka Uka joins Cortex and the time-crazy Doctor Tropy to gather the power crystals (are you seeing the pattern being created here?) and bla bla.. Crash has to stop them and things.
This setting and the time thing going on allows the creators to make great and contrasting levels, from the roman times to the future. This resulted in amazing visuals. As like the previous game, this follows the main characters Crash and Coco.

Production of Crash Bandicoot: Warped began on January 1998, with Naughty Dog given only 10½ months to complete the game. 10.5 months and they nailed it and slammed it into our drooling mouths. What would a new game be without new engines? Well a shit one. Programmers Andy Gavin, Stephen White and Greg Omi created three new gameplay engines for the game. Two of the three new engines were three-dimensional in nature and were created for the airplane and jet-ski levels; the third new engine was created for the motorcycle levels in the style of a driving simulator. These engines made up a third of the game while the rest was given the previous engines of the last games. Jason Rubin explained that the "classic" engine and game style was preserved due to the success of the previous two games and went on to say that "were we to abandon that style of gameplay, that would mean that we would be abandoning a significant proportion of gamers out there." which I adore and I will treasure this comment to this day. When you have creators who put their gamers.. THEIR GAMERS first before their game.. then they are gaming saints. As most large companies depend on making more money and DLC nowadays. A real shadow was given to the Crash character at the request of the Sony Computer Entertainment America producers, who were "sick of that little discus that's following him around."
As always, Josh Mancell from Mutato Muzika had another part in the games music with also David Baggert and Mark Mothersbaugh, and the various different environments and time eras made the music producers work to create pieces to suit them all and they nailed it.

Crash Bandicoot: Warped is like the rest of the series; A platformer game. With the same objective as the previous game. Collect 25 power crystals and defeat Cortex. Much of the game takes place in the Time-Twisting Machine, which acts as the hub area of the game. The Time-Twisting Machine is split up into five chamber. Some levels contain a "Bonus Platform" that leads to a special bonus area, where the player must navigate through a separate area and collect everything in sight. Crash can do previous moves like spin attack and bouncing on enemies. And can use the Power slide and the body slam. This abilites can be upgraded when you defeat bosses which is a nice award for hard work and helps later on in the game.
The bosses are good. My favorite being Dingodile. They are all unique although Tropy's boss level is dull and repetitive at times. It wasn't bad but lacked more than the other bosses. There are levels requiring you to driving a bike and a plane. These are fun, I have to admit. They are easy to control but I don't really enjoy being forced to play in a different way than I want to.

This game was amazingly good. Critics agree with me, giving it a B+, 9s and 8s. It was made to be better but kept it's old charm that the previous games had. It was too bad that it was shorter and I wished they had added to it to make it a little longer. Although that might be due to me being too experienced with playing and completing this game, although I haven't completed it 100%, just the story. You should play it, even once. The nostalgia will kick in, and with that said I'm going to bed now.

Crash Bandicoot 2 (PS1) Retro Review

I would of put "Cortex strikes back" but it's long enough as it is. You know which game I'm talking about. This is the second game of the Crash Bandicoot series and it's (in my opinion) a better game than it's aging brother because of *insert heavenly music* Analog. Bless the mighty lord! Analog has come down and touched my heart. Oh, and polar bears are cute or something.. CRASH BANDICOOT..!

Oooh.. Naughty Dog was making games out it's own rectum. This game got it's original release in 1997. Only 2 years after the first game was made. It was also re-released in 1998 for the Sony greatest hits and the Best for family line-up. Naughty Dog knew what they were doing with this series and they worked hard to give us this game in only 2 years.

And even better? The game is set a moment after the crash (get it?) and fall of the final boss of the last game. Set in the Wumpa islands; Cortex kidnaps Crash and tricks him into thinking that he wants Crash to work with him to gain the power crystals from all the different levels to stop the world from being destroyed. You are joined with Crash's smart sister called Coco, who is skeptical of Cortex's plans and also Nitrus Brio, whom tries to persuade Crash into collecting gems, so either way; You're someone's bitch.
It's a good thing that the game works into the last game's plot, although it doesn't stop new gamers from picking it up and playing with out being that confused with it, as the story doesn't revolve around Crash and his girlfriend anymore and is even placed in a "hub world" which actually lets you save when you feel like it.

The game was given a new engine by Andy Gavin. The"Game-Oriented Object LISP 2"(GOOL 2) was created to be three times faster than the one previously and could handle ten times the animation frames and twice the amount of polygon count, making the visuals more smoother to the naked eye and it was so beautiful. The jungle levels were originally to have featured ground fog, but this was abandoned when magazines and the public began to criticize other developers for using fog to hide polygon count. Sunlight and depth accentuation was experimented with for these levels. Naughty Dog created the sewer levels as a way to work some "dirty" locations in the game. Color contrast was added to the levels to show depth and break up the repetitive monotony of the endless sewer pipes. This game was given amazing new things to make the visuals more appealing and upgrade from the old, primal image the old game possessed. The soundtrack was written by Josh Mancell from Mutato Muzika, who was also responsible for the music in the old game which you do see the similar sounds and music, but there is a slight change to make it more fresh and different.

The goal of this game (unlike the old game) is to gather 25 crystals for Cortex. The game takes place in a series of "Warp Rooms", which act as the hub areas of the game. Each Warp Room contains five doors leading to a level and YOU CAN SAVE AT ANY TIME. This was such a big difference from the old game and I'm so glad that I don't have to deal with the saving frustration anymore. I want no part in it. You can Spin and jump like the older game, and you fight bosses too. Although, the bosses in this game seem fairly easy and not much of a challenge but that's just me, maybe they were hard for other people and I'm just too fucking good at gaming?. Crash can also body slam boxes and enemies and also use the power slide to slide across the ground. All of these techniques can be used as offensive measures against most enemies, which serve to deter Crash's progress. Enemies with deadly topsides cannot be jumped on, while enemies that attack from the front or have side spikes must be jumped on or undergo a body slam. This various was slimly added to the old game but was limited due to the lack of attacks that Crash could do, but I'm glad that there is a purpose for the moves added in this game. The boxes make a return, giving wumpa fruit, extra lives and Aku Aku masks to help you on your adventure, but there are also Bonus Paths, which are used to get more extra lives and wumpa fruit.

This game was better, not the best, but better. It kept to it's roots but made sure to create something that is a new experience. The hub world was a great installment although I did enjoy the map view that the old game had. This game can be beaten fairly quick if you know what you're doing so it's a good game to pass the time or have a gaming night with friends. Just don't forget this PS1 classic because it really shows you how gaming as a whole has changed and evolved.

Crash Bandicoot (PS1) Retro Review

(Note: Sorry for my absence. Not that you care anyway.)

Oh this game... Oh.. this game. Most people my game have endured the frustration of trying to complete this game. 100% was god damn impossible and I hated how hard it was. Was it a bad game though? Hell no! Well.. It was good although I played Crash Bandicoot: Warped. So the controls were a little stiff, but for 1995. This game was the absolute shit, but why was this game the shit? or at least "meh" for me as a kid. Well we will find out. So put on your orange hats and blue shorts as we go into the depths of the first 1995 Crash Bandicoot.

As you were told a paragraph ago; This game was released in 1995. Quite an early PS1 game which I'm surprised that I owned since I was born that young. Wow. This game is 19 years old.. making you feel old and depressed yet? Good, because that's what I'm here for. Anyway The series, originally exclusive to the Sony, was created by some amazing people called Andy Gavin and Jason Rubin during their stay at the drooling piece of fantastic game company, Naughty Dog. Naughty Dog was great in the old years and it's sad to say that since they left this orange monster, The series just went downhill (Although Crash and Bash wasn't that bad of a game for a first go)

As with all games in the same era; The story was simple and easy to understand. The end goal: save your girlfriend, because we are a faithful Bandicoot. In the prologue. It is shown with the evil Dr Cortex as he experiments with a bandicoot but it goes wrong and Crash escapes, leaving him to save the girlfriend he left behind. The setting at the first few levels is the Wumpa islands, where you must travel to various environments to find Dr Cortex and save your girlfriend. It's a fairly simple goal to grasp and even with the lack of speech with Crash. The visuals are shown clearly what we are aiming to achieve.

Like Spyro. It's hard to grasp the visuals and graphics with a positive outlook as I am a little biased as I have been around more modern games with higher quality. Crash Bandicoot wasn't a bad looking game at it's time. Heck, it was more than that if you compare them with other games of that year. The infamous polygons are there but don't ruin the game in anyway, and there are moments in the game where the old PS1 look shines through. It wasn't as good as the 2nd one and the 3rd one, but it still had a comedic charm to the graphics. The music was the thing that was great. It was bouncy, energetic and really felt like part of the Bandicoot experience.

Now this is where the I have a few problems with the first Crash Bandicoot which the sequels did a little bit better. Crash had the basic move set for all platformers, give or take some control differences between other games. You could spin and jump onto boxes, and move about with the D-pad, and there was no Analog. You were restricted to using the d-pad. For you youngsters, here's a little PS1 trivia for you. Back in the day of retro gaming, there were older controllers that didn't even have an analog stick. This was due to the old age of the game and it was extremely hard to get used to after years and years of using the analog. This wasn't the game's fault so I won't reduce marks for it. Next issue I had with this game was not being able to save at a regular basis. You had to either collect all the boxes in one level (in one go) or complete a bonus challenge. This was horridly tedious for me as a kid and it was so frustrating having all your work wasted away by a cheap death then finding yourself miles away from your previous level. Yes: It does work with adding to the challenge of the game, but I feel as if this was purposely planned then it's quite a cheap way of making you play a long ago to make up for those deaths. I can also see how this also helps players learn to value their lives but if you die from a cheap death then it sucks to be you (considering that you can only get hit once). It was fairly easy to die, although you could pick up useful "Aku Aku" masks to let you take an extra hit, if you collect three of them then you are invulnerable for a few seconds or so, which was a VERY important item to collect.

This game was a good game with a bad way of saving and primal controls. I guess simple is better but the other two games are just better in saving and controls. I can't say this game was bad because it was from 1995. It was amazing at it's time but the primal controls make it age horribly. If you're a fan then I can't blame you for loving this game, and even to me this game brought back so many good memories of screaming at my television and throwing my controller at the wall. If you want a real challenge and you're a hardcore gamer, then try beating this game, since I know I won't.

Transformice (Flash) Review

This is a weird game. Like. Really weird. But I like free games to play so don't judge me. I shouldn't be playing this game in college but I can and I will since this game had a strange concept to it and the art is just super adorable. The game isn't the biggest thing in gaming but it's a free-to-play game with vast multiplayer where you work together to get cheese for the family, sounds boring? Yeah. It is, but you get godly mice too? I'm already sold.

Transformice is a free-to-play multiplayer online platform browser game *takes a deep breath* created by the french people, two to be exact called Melibellule and Tigrounette. Melibellule produces the game's kawaii artwork and graphics and Tigrounette works the functions and mechanics. It was released on May 1, 2010. 4 years old. That's crazy.

For a game made by two individuals. The game is very nicely made. The costumes and items that can be gained by cheese grabbing are colourful and cartoony, nicely having a large number of items. The Shaman is easily identified from the regular mice since they have a larger body and light blue decoration. The game has a nice atmosphere, mainly when there are more than one player, as it feels busy and friendly. The in game payments is what should be expected from free games in this generation, but it doesn't cripple you in anyway. You can play the game perfectly fine without the payments and it's good that way.

Players can control the mouse with the arrow keys or the WASD keys to run, jump and duck their way to the cheese which is randomly placed around a map. Players' mice must touch the cheese to collect it and must take it back to the mice hole to finish. The number of cheese and mice holes differ between maps. Players are awarded points on a scoreboard that updates in real-life and bonus points are rewarded for 1st, 2nd and 3rd. Collecting cheese is recorded into a player's permanent stats and the cheese collected can gain the player avatar clothing and costumes for their mice, to make them the hippest mouse there.
When a player reaches the highest score, they will become a Shaman in the next round. Their job is to help the other mice get to the cheese and back to the hole (Although they can troll you). the Shaman can help by summoning objects like anvils, balloons and boxes to create buildings or contraptions. It's all about working as a team member and thinking creatively to help the others grab the cheese.

This game is one of the few good Multiplayer online browser games. The payments are there but aren't provided in anyway unless you want to buy certain things, and even then. Most things can be slowly earned by collecting cheese in-game. The chat is fun and the people can be interesting to talk to, making it feel like you're experiencing teamwork with actual people. They will get angry when you screw up and be happy when you help as a Shaman. I have to admit that the Shaman is hard to grasp at first. I even hate being Shaman, but the actual game is good and a great time-killer if you have a few 10 minutes to spare, since you just have to log in and then jump into a map. Multiplayer games like this aren't for everyone but the rare chaotic moments are worth a see.

Sonic Riders (PS2) Review

Now I expect alot of hate after this post, but I actually liked this game. Just lower your pitchforks and torches down and let me explain. This game was "OK". It was a decent racing game and it had likable (At most) characters and hover boards are a thing I rarely see in gaming. Why give the world's fastest hedgehog a hover board anyway when he can just run to the finish line? A question I can't exactly answer. This was one of those games that raised alot of questions, but it wasn't a bad game for me anyway.

Since Sega has a habit of doing anything and everything to this blue spikey hedgehog. It didn't concern me that "hover board riding" would be the next thing on their list in 2006. It was for the Gamecube, Xbox, PS2 and PC. It was also the fourth Sonic racing game in the series. The game was released to start off the 15th anniversary of the Sonic the hedgehog series, introducing new characters including the Babylon rouges and the Xbox version was released with a Sonic X DVD. I'm not a big fan of the shows since they never interested me, so that last bit of information was as pointless to me as you guys.

The story splits into two halves, one with the Heroes story and the other with the Babylon story. All of the stories start differently but soon overlay, which I like with multiple storylines. Also, Both stories are only told from the point of view of the specified characters and Omochao (Fucking love that cute piece of shit). The layout of the story is pretty cool since it's rare to find a racing game with a decent story. It's not a GREAT story but it's good. So it goes into the "Meh" category. The story revolves around the Babylon Rouges and a place called Babylon Garden which holds great treasure. There's the three members of the Babylon Rouges who are introduced into this game, the rest being previous characters in the Sonic series (Other characters can be unlocked like Shadow and Cream). The three are Jet (The leader), Wave (The mechanic) and Storm. These characters play a large part in the game and their personalities are.. Okay? I tolerated them. Wave seemed to be targeted as Tails' love interest (or so I thought while playing) and talking of that two-tailed fox. Try playing this game and take a shot everytime he says "Babylon".

The look of the game is "eh". It's not the best looking game on the PS2 but it's similar to the design on Sonic heroes (I'm referring to the actual game). The concept art and opening scenes though are a different story. It uses a street art-style of art which works quite alright with this style of game. Since hoverboards are similar to skateboards and they are usually linked with street art and graffiti. I actually really liked the opening sequence when I played this game. I have no idea why. Maybe it was the colours or the fast pace it had. I can't remember. The music is upbeat, fast and works with the racing. There are times where it gets annoying while playing on different tracks but it's bearable. What I DO hate is the beeping sound when you run out of air. The tracks themselves are pretty good for racing. My favorite being just the city track. I praise the game for giving different routes for different types of characters. Speed characters using rails to grind, Fly characters to fly a long distance with rings and the Power characters for smashing things out the way. It had a similar feel as Sonic heroes, making you play as different characters to experiment with different routes (Although you are three characters at once in Sonic Heroes).

The game-play is similar to most racing games. The hover boards work similar to skateboards so it's best to be compared to a skateboarding racing game. there are 16 tracks with 9 of them being unlocked by going through the story. This is a decent amount of tracks for a Sonic racing game. I actually expected less. 

The main difference to this from other racing / Skateboarding games is the air tank. Players have to keep the air tank filled with well... air to keep the hoverboard (or Extreme gears for you nerdy dicks) from stopping. The air is depleted as the race continues but can be regained by cornering and doing tricks in the air. This component can be annoying but doesn't add to the tension in racing. If a player runs out of air, their character will start running, putting them at several disadvantage so keeping the air tank filled is vital if you want to stay first.

The controls are alright. Floaty but that's expected for a game where you ride air. So I can't complain about the game for that.

This game wasn't bad. The story is alright but can drag on a little if you're the type to like Sonic stories (They can be shitty). The actually game-play is difficult to grasp at first because of the air tank and the different things you can do. It took me a little while to get better at it and finally began to enjoy it when I wasn't getting frustrated at it. It was nice coming back to it but I doubt I'll be going back to it again anytime soon as there are better racers out there that I enjoy better.

Super Puzzle Platformer (Flash) Review

During my quest of snotty tissues and coughing up my own organs these past few days. I came across this lovely small game while laying in bed, just going through a bunch of Adultswim games (Which I might consider giving some short reviews). I played this game now and then but always forgot about it since I'm always hooked up to my PS3, exploding old ladies with grenades. So why is this game being placed onto here? Well, firstly this game is a perfect arcade mash'em ups and it's my reviewing blog, so fuck your opinions.
PS: Don't hate me viewers. ILY.

This game was previously a flash game but made it's way up onto the steam list. It was created by Andrew Morrish. A beautiful man with an amazing talent to create such a retro feeling game with mashed up elements. Although I can't praise this game like it's the crusty scab from the sole of Jesus's foot. Mash'em up elements has been done before and so has retro games. People abuse the art style BUT this game is still amazing for a game you can game for free.

There is no really story. So I'm not going to review this part. (Skipping to visuals)
The visuals are amazing. The character him (her?)Self is simply designed and the simplicity of the designs add to the sense of retro gaming so many game designers seem to enjoy making recently. The blocks are bright and easy to make out easy colour. The visuals has a 2D style with a perception of 3D, which I like in platformers. The music is 8-bit with a fast beat to keep the game feeling fast-paced and chaotic.

The movement in the game feels floaty but bouncy, helping you run and hop from block to block with ease. The character feels like they have little weight and this helps with sudden escapes from falling blocks if you're at risk of dying. The guns alter slightly when you level up (which you do by shooting blocks) and the shots actually have some sort of realism to the character, making him go back slightly from the firepower.

This game is fun, and it's free to play or you can buy it from Steam and get some DLC with it. It's a game with a retro feel so the only aim in the game is to get a high score. It's fun to play with friends as you can challenge each other to beat each other's scores, but it's still just as fun playing it on your own (If you're a loner like me). It's a simple game which got me addicted when I started playing it again. If you're not a fan of modern retro-styled games. I don't think you'll agree that it's good but anyone else should give it a go on Adultswim to see if they enjoy the fast paced platform shooter that this game offers.

Sonic Generations (PS3) Review

Sonic Generations is a same I enjoyed a little. The old levels poked at my nostalgia and I completed it fairly quickly. The only Sonic games I have played in the past was Sonic Adventure 2, Sonic heroes, Sonic 06 and a few others. I wasn't the biggest fan of the series but I still enjoyed the fast paced gameplay that most of my other games didn't have. This game was like a flashback to when I played those last games but there were a few things that bugged me about it.

Sega has been corrupting this blue hedgehog, turning him into all kinds to grab some attention from the Sonic fans. From giving him a bestiality romance with a final fantasy character to just turning into werewolf. Sonic was Sega's guinea pig while they tried to find something that worked. Something similar to the old Sonic, so why not make a game with old Sonic? Ehm.. I mean... A game with most of the annoying characters from the old games and levels from some of the past games, including the trainwreck which was Sonic 06. Sonic Generations was finally created and released to consoles in 2011 for PS3, Xbox, 3DS and PC. The game was for the 20th Anniversary of Sonic and the game was a surprise to the fans who waited so long for the old Sonic to get back onto their television screens.

The story is... strange like most (if not all) Sonic games that have been vomiting out from Sega's mouth in the recent years.  The story starts in White Space, a realm where time and space end up after they have been "erased" by being drained of color and life. The final moments of the game take place in the Center of Time, and Modern Sonic and Classic Sonic has to explore the nine worlds (seven in the 3DS version) to save history and rescue their friends as Eggman and Classic Eggman team up to erase their past defeats from history using Time Eater.
Nineteen of the characters in the previous games make an appearance. With Modern Sonic and Classic Sonic, Tails and his Classic self. There's also characters including Amy, Knuckles, Charmy the bee, Vector, Shadow and even Blaze and Silver. The side characters barely do anything than tag up with you with missions, which makes the challenges differ between each world.

The graphics are similar to that of Sonic colors. Very vibrant and colorful in each stage. The camera is zoomed out, giving the player a better time to react to things that comes towards them on the screen, where as the old games had the camera zoomed in and it was hard to see when things were coming at you. The music is catchy, keeping to the original songs of the levels. My favorite being City Escape. The game didn't alter too much of the original designs, but added enough to make them feel fresh to nostalgic players.
The thing I didn't like was that they included a map from Sonic 06, which I had said before. It was a train wreck. I'm unsure why the Sonic team would want to add that into this game, since that game was the sin of Sonic games and should be buried into the ground, and I didn't want to be reminded of that piece of garbage while playing this game.

The controls for Classic Sonic are like the ones for the past games, using classic moves like the Spin Attack and Spin Dash and the leveling for him is fixed on a 2D side scroller. Modern Sonic is giving 2D/3D platforming similar to Sonic Unleashed and Sonic colors, giving him some past moves like the homing attack and and speed boosting. Although you can pick which one you want to do for each world. You have to do both in order to process, forcing the player to play the level twice. This can be considered a good thing as the two levels have different ways of playing, but it can be frustrating for players who prefer one playing style over the other. There are 10 challenges in each zone which spices up the game and is also required to do before you can go to the boss stage, forcing the player again. A Skill Shop allows players to use points earned from high scores to unlock upgrades such as abilities, shields, and even the original Sonic the Hedgehog Genesis game, which was the main thing I was saving up for. Completing challenges, as well as finding Red Star Rings hidden in each of the main Acts, unlocks additional skills, as well as bonus concept artwork and music so I guess the challenges are useful and not just for filler. There are also online leaderboards for two modes: Ranking Attack, which challenges players to obtain the best time and score on each level, and 30 Second Trial, which challenges players to see how far they can get through a level in 30 seconds, which can be fun when challenging your friends and beating each others scores online (if they have the game also).

I found this game fun to play in my spare time for a few minutes. The levels are nicely laid out and the music is catchy and fun to listen to, whether you're new to the Sonic series or not. There are some annoyances like sometimes the homing attack won't target an enemy and the chaos emeralds can be frustrating to get when the game gives you no indication on what to do, but it's alot better than the previous experiments that Sega has put out on the shelves. It's possibly one of the better modern Sonic games and it's an example that it's okay to sometimes take a step backwards when coming up with new ideas, sometimes old is good.